A Different Kind of Grief

Sometimes it doesn’t take the death of a loved one to spark feelings of grief and loss. For example, the outcome of the recent presidential election has produced the same symptoms of grief and loss in a large segment of the population as those who have lost a loved one. In this case, the loss is of hope. This post is not intended to be a political statement, but rather a comparison of similarities between these two types of grief, and a look at taking steps toward healing. According to Mental Health America, there is a wide range of emotions that a person experiences when a death takes place. These feelings include numbness, denial, disbelief, confusion, shock, sadness, yearning, anger, humiliation, despair, and guilt. I have personally experienced all of these feelings after losing a loved one. However, until the most recent election, it hadn’t occurred to me that these same feelings might result from a profound sense of hopelessness due to loss of a collective dream, or hope for the future. I have heard a number of people say that on election night, they felt that they were living a nightmare, from which they could not awaken. There have been articles that list the Kubler-Ross stages of loss and grief, (denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) adding one, “activism,” to the list. Online communities have tried hard to rally their followers to action, such as calling their government officials, writing letters, and sending e-mails to people in power, hoping to effect a change in the President Elect, the Vice-President Elect, and their incoming cabinet. What can a person do who has become so devastated by recent national events (such as the rise in racism, anti-Semitism, sexism, hatred of LGBTQ people, and hatred of religions other than one’s own) that s/he feels an interruption in his or her ability to function normally? Once again, I turn to the literature on coping with grief and loss. According to Mental Health America, there are a number of ways a person can try to live with their grief. These include seeking out caring people, expressing your feelings, taking care of your health, being patient, and seeking outside help, if necessary. If others around you are severely depressed by recent events, you can help them by sharing their sorrow through listening, not offering false comfort, again, being patient, and encouraging them to get professional help if necessary. If you feel called to take action, to be part of the resistance, then you should find like-minded people and move forward with that. As for myself, I take enormous comfort from nature. As a photographer and artist, I am constantly seeing “signs” in the natural environment around me that function symbolically as strategies for coping with stress. This morning I rose before dawn, and spent time meditating and reading philosophy. When I looked up from the text, the sky had lightened and dramatic storm clouds from yesterday’s winter storm painted what can only be described as a battle ground in the sky. How will you cope with your idealogical grief? You are not alone.