Something About December

December is a very difficult time for many. It seems as if the whole world is bright, happy, and filled with the joy of the season...after all, the Christmas carols start around Halloween, and by Thanksgiving all the stores are decked out in green and red. TV commercials try to sell us all the things, and online popup ads are relentless. Hanukah is way late this year, December 24 - January 1st, but still falls within this month of December. I was born in December, on the Winter Solstice. I've never minded having my birthday so close to Christmas, because it seemed like everybody everywhere was celebrating something. For years, my older brother Jim and I traded birthdays...his is August 8th. I always appreciated his generosity and willingness to make sure I got a birthday gift that wasn't really a Christmas gift serving two purposes. The years passed, and now we are adults. We lost both our parents in December, Dad in 1993 and Mom in 2014. I've always prided myself on not being depressed during the holidays. After all, most of the December holidays are about darkness and light...whether it's Hanukah or Advent, the candles increase until the darkness is filled with light. But this year is different. For you see, now my brother Jim is facing lung cancer. My dear brother who taught me how to climb trees, who traded birthdays with me, who used to dry dishes in our childhood kitchen while singing songs from "Brigadoon" (practicing the sword dance in a dishtowel "kilt"), and who did two tours of duty in Viet Nam, is now facing the greatest battle of his life. Today he had a lung biopsy on the campus of Ohio State University during the lockdown that resulted in the shooting of a lone-wolf terrorist, a student who drove into a crowd then began attacking people with a butcher knife. What kind of world do we live in? Where is the light in all of this darkness? Regardless of your politics, your religion, or your background, we all want the same thing...peace on Earth, long life and health for our families, and a light in the darkness. In the face of all this sorrow and loss, I struggle to reach within myself and find that light, still shining. For me, it's the increasing glow of an Advent wreath, in which another candle is lit every Sunday for four weeks until that great Light enters the world on Christmas day. This year may be the first year that I struggle to find the joy in the season...We expect our parents to pass before us. It's another matter altogether when your siblings become sick and begin making their final preparations. And so I will light the candles, say the prayers, and pray for light in this world. Grief and loss are hard at any time of the year, but there's something about December...