This blog is for people experiencing grief and loss, whether from death of a loved one, friend, pet, or loss of something deeply meaningful to them. This is intended to be a safe place to share stories, information, photographs...
So, why am I doing this? I'm taking a course this semester on aging in the church and society. As part of this course, I've designed an older adult ministry in the form of a grief and loss support group that meets once a month in an assisted living facility. Of course, one of the community norms is that "whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas..." nothing discussed in that group will be shared outside of the group. It occurred to me that it would be very interesting to open the conversation to folks who are of all ages...and that a blog might be the best way to do that.
My husband and I recently decided to begin volunteering in a two-bed Hospice home in our community. We did several training sessions, including some one-on-one sessions with one of the seven nurses who supervise volunteers. During these training sessions, I did some hands-on care of one of the patients. Gloria (not her real name) is 88 years old, and is dying of breast cancer. In addition to helping out with the usual activities of daily living, I sat and just held her hand while she drifted off to sleep. I found that to be a deeply peaceful experience. For those moments, nothing else existed in the world for me...there was just the soft light of twilight, the rhythmic click of the oxygen machine, and Gloria's hand in mine. It made me think of the words of the Desiderata...
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.
So, why am I doing this? I'm taking a course this semester on aging in the church and society. As part of this course, I've designed an older adult ministry in the form of a grief and loss support group that meets once a month in an assisted living facility. Of course, one of the community norms is that "whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas..." nothing discussed in that group will be shared outside of the group. It occurred to me that it would be very interesting to open the conversation to folks who are of all ages...and that a blog might be the best way to do that.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I recently decided to begin volunteering in a two-bed Hospice home in our community. We did several training sessions, including some one-on-one sessions with one of the seven nurses who supervise volunteers. During these training sessions, I did some hands-on care of one of the patients. Gloria (not her real name) is 88 years old, and is dying of breast cancer. In addition to helping out with the usual activities of daily living, I sat and just held her hand while she drifted off to sleep. I found that to be a deeply peaceful experience. For those moments, nothing else existed in the world for me...there was just the soft light of twilight, the rhythmic click of the oxygen machine, and Gloria's hand in mine. It made me think of the words of the Desiderata...
ReplyDeleteDesiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.